Dec. 16th, 2011

grumpiest_tree: (Hello)
Part A | Phone & Action | Inside 5721 Cunningham Lane

[The first thing Groot notices is he is cold. Abnormally cold. As in "I shouldn't be feeling this unless my sap is about to freeze" cold. So it is with understandable panic that he sits up in the bed located in a house on Cunningham Lane. Of course this sudden movement brings a host of signals that all tell him that there's something...off about his body that may be more troublesome than the temperature. The least of which is the puff of chilled breath he can see in front of him.]

What the flark?

[Groot, in the pajamas provided for him by the town of Mayfield, rushes over to a nearby mirror, knocking over the phone by the night stand. You probably can hear him as he is quite agitatedly muttering about his condition.]

Da'st it all, I'm some sort of mammal! What's the point of being homeothermic if a temperature such as this can nearly freeze you to death. This better be a dream. Or a hallucination. I'll even take a near-death experience if it means I'll wake up as myself in a few moments. Hmm, I wonder if Drax killed us all again. I hope not, Mantis and Cosmo were pretty angry about it the last time.

[Rubbing his hands together, Groot looks over and notices the phone receiver he knocked off the hook earlier. Giving a slight shrug, he picks it up and clears his throat.]

Um, hello there, is anyone on this thing? Listen, this is King Groot, Monarch of Planet X, and on the off chance this is not some type of vivid dream or hallucination, would someone be kind enough to explain what in the cosmos is going on?

Part B | Action | Around town

[Groot is exploring Mayfield. He is bundled up and constantly blowing into his hands to keep them warm, all the while muttering how the coldness of space was much more tolerable than this, as well as how inconvenient it is to maintain comfort without some sturdy bark to weather the elements for you. If spoken to, as a few drones seem to be doing, he'll snap back a greeting before sizing up the individual to see if they're someone who will just waste his time. In the case of drones, this usually means he says hello, sees what they are, and starts walking again just as the drone attempts to further the conversation. All in all, Groot is pretty much giving off an Ebeneezer Scrooge vibe with his grumpiness as he moves through the streets.

Unless you catch him at the park. Specifically in the center, in front of the 70 foot tall tree with the decorations, light, and music playing. There Groot is just staring in stunned silence, jaw hanging open as the music plays and the lights glow brightly.]

Part C | Phone | Later in the evening

Now, I understand that a large portion of humans from Earth celebrate a holiday in the winter that involves gift giving and something about a fat man in sled with flying reindeer, but do any of you realize just how insensitive and barbaric it is to cut down living trees as mere decorations for this holiday?

Not to mention using such a grand and ancient one that is even now in the center of the park? A park full of already living plants and trees by the way! What, did those who put it up felt it needed to be an example to the others to stay in line? What the d'ast did it ever do to deserve to be killed and encircled with such gaudy ornaments and lights? Think about it, what if, upon the unfortunate passing of one of your beloved relatives, I outfitted them and their coffin with neon trim that flashed in time to "When the Saints Go Marching In"? It's just disrespectful!

And that's not even taking in the consideration of the amount of electricity it must take to keep it lit when we're stuck in houses that are barely heating themselves for more than an hour a day! I swear, if this is the kind of things I have to deal with on a day to day basis now, I may just let myself freeze to death and be done with it!

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His Divine Majesty King Groot the 23rd

December 2011

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